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Wedding in Almvik/Sweden

10/8/2015

 
The purpose of my visit to Almvik was to attend the wedding ceremony of Madhuri Radhika Mataji and Janananda Prabhu which took place on the 3rd of October. And at the same time I took the opportunity to apply for my Indian visa at the embassy in Stockholm.
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I have known Madhuri Radhika Mataji for a number of years - she had assisted me two times in Mayapur, had helped me in several Holy Name Retreats in Estonia and Almvik, and has also been instrumental in the organisation of the annual Scandinavian Bhakti Sangam Festival. And by serving together we had established a deeper friendship.

Now she had made the bold decission to enter married life, even though she has already grown-up children. I was impressed with her mood of accepting this challenge. She had shared with me: "This is what I need in order to actually do some internal work. On this person I want to practice giving up my independance. I need this lesson - learning to put myself below somebody, to dissolve my false ego, to give up my pride and become a humble servant."

I marvelled at her understanding of marriage, truly seeing it for what it is meant to be: a purifying journey, where we can learn tolerance and humility, and cultivate a selfless mood of service. I could not detect in her any great expectations for sense gratification or romance. No, it was clear to her that it is all about purification. I wish all devotees would enter married life in this spirit. Maybe then we would have a better success-rate of our marriages. One of the main things which makes married life so difficult is indeed all these false hopes, demands and expectations on this man-woman relationship, thinking it to be the fulfillment of our longing for perfect and sublime love. But this we will only find in our relationship with Krsna - nowhere else.

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Of course, one may argue that at this stage in life one should not enter married life again, but rather move into the renounced phase of life. Ideally, this is certainly a fact. But true renunciation and detachment is not simply a matter of age. It is a matter of the heart. For most of us, unless we have thoroughly been through the grhastha ashram with all its purifying duties, we might not have received the necessary purification to be able to move on to the renounced phase of life. And thus we might have to repeat the lesson again - either in this life or in the next.
Unless we manage to uproot and purify all those unresolved matters within our heart and thus let go of them, we will easily take them with us into our next existence. To actually go back to Godhead does not seem to be such an easy thing. All the material aspects of our subtle body of the mind, intelligence and false ego have to be entirely transformed and spiritualized. Our subtle body has to be surcharged with spiritual impressions, experiences, desires and attachments. And in order to be able to achieve this, we have to be properly situated in one of the ashrams, according to our nature. Unless we are properly situated, we can find ourselves stuck - unable to move forward within our spiritual practice. Prabhupada explains this in the story with Gajendra the elephant, who is fighting in the water with the crocodile. Since water is not the natural environment for an elephant, Gajendra became weaker and weaker, whereas the crocodile, even though a smaller animal, became stronger and stronger. And Prabhupada explains the importance of being properly situated in one's ashram, which gives us a solid footing to continue in our fight against maya, with full vigor and spiritual strength.

Over the years I have also observed how important it is especially for ladies to be well balanced emotionally. If our emotional needs are not fulfilled in a balanced and healthy way, then we can easily become emotionally very dry. The feeling of loneliness enters our life, and as a result we can lose enthusiasm and energy for our devotional life. Even our physical health can seriously be affected. Interesting to note, that many diseases actually begin within the subtle body, and only later manifest in the gross body.

I was requested to serve as the Master of Ceremonies at this marriage function. Most of the devotees of our Almvik community had assembled, and some also had come from Korsnas and the city center of Stockholm. Janananda Prabhu has been serving for many years as the main accountant for the Northern BBT, and a number of senior devotees and leaders of the BBT also attended his wedding. And of course, weddings are always a wonderful opportunity to preach to non-devotee relatives. Some of Madhuri Radhika Mataji's relatives and friends from Estonia had also come, visiting the temple for the very first time.

I tried my very best to conduct the function nicely, endeavoring to create a sweet and devotional atmosphere, and adding here and there a few uplifting words on the purpose of married life. Some senior devotees and disciples of Srila Prabhupada spoke and gave their blessings, and gifts and good wishes were offered to the newly wedded couple, and charity received in return - in an envelop with a funny picture of a cow on it. After all, at such functions one is meant to give cows in charity.....
The entire event was very sweet and wonderful, bringing the whole community together. Senior devotees commented: "This was so nice! We should have weddings more often....!"
While waiting for my Indian visa to be issued I spent some relaxing days in the village community of Almvik, giving a morning class, visiting many devotees in their homes and spending time in personal exchanges. 
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I could sense that the winter season was approaching - we had the first night frost with minus five degrees Celsius. In Sweden the winter starts very early, being far North. The leaves on the trees were changing their color and becoming yellow and red, and morning fog was covering the lake and nearby fields. ​
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On my early morning walks around the village the smell of freshly baked bread welcomed me. This is the glory and oppulence of village life - with organic vegetables from our own fields, milk from Krsna's cows and freshly baked bread from our own bakery.....

On the 8th of October I flew back to Germany and traveled out to Goloka Dham....

Your servant, Devaki dd

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