As the situation quickly escalated, I rang the German consulate in Dubai and got the advice to leave the country overland to Muscat/Oman which was not so affected by the disturbances, and thus the airport in Muscat was still functioning. I was also advised to register with ELEFAND – an Electronic Registration of Germans Abroad, an official crisis prevention list managed by the German Federal Foreign Office. They regularly send updates according to the country mentioned in one's registration.
I spent time researching things and finally came to terms with the idea to better leave the country. I was not so concerned for my personal safety but was rather afraid to get stuck there and miss my flight booked for the 17th of March from Frankfurt to the US. So I had to make sure I would reach Germany within the next week or so! In the early morning of Gaur Purnime, my hosts drove me across the border to stay with the devotees in Sohar/Oman. The border crossing was very smooth – no traffic, no queues and no questions asked! I expected something different. Later I heard that 12 hours later there were huge queues! In times of war we have to be quick....!
Sohar has a nice nama hatta community, and we had a sweet little Gaur Purnima gathering with around 50 serious devotees participating. Upon the request of the local devotees I stayed another day and had an evening program which was also well attended.
The next morning, the devotees drove me from Sohar to Muscat where I was well received by an eager gathering of devotees. They have the tradition that whenever a preacher visits, the devotees gather in somebody’s home and take lunch together with the visitor. A nice tradition and loving exchange which brings devotees together. We had an evening program on the same day which was very well attended by around 60 or more devotees gathering in a big home.
In the middle of the night I received a call from the Office of Foreign Affairs in Berlin, offering me to get on a special flight to Frankfurt the next evening, designated to evacuate stranded German tourists. I had left a message through ELEFAND that I have to return to Germany as soon as possible, and indeed, within 10 hours, they contacted me! Something which I didn’t expect considering that there were 30,000 German tourists stranded in the Emirates. I accepted the offer to get on this flight, although I also felt sorry to leave the nice community of devotees. But I concluded it was good to return to Cologne as soon as possible since I had a lot of errands to do before flying out to the US.
During my time in the Middle East I remembered that His Holiness Niranjana Maharaja was in Kiev at the same time, and I felt I was sharing a little of the war-adventure and spirit....
The short visit to the Middle East gave me a good idea of the nice communities of devotees there, and I hope to be back in the future....

Death is the only part of life that is a hundred percent certain. Everything else may or may not happen; we don’t know. But death will happen for sure! It is unquestionable! And yet, we expertly keep pretending that death will never happen to us. And death sometimes reaches us quicker than we expect it to. Even when we are young, something may suddenly happen and boom – we are
instantly kicked out of our body. We don’t know when this tragic moment might strike us?
Despite Krishna having given us many warnings about death – when death comes to knock on our door, we exclaim, “Oh, how unexpected!” Why should we allow it to be unexpected? In fact, it must be expected to come at any time. The fact that we call death an unexpected incident clearly shows just how much we want to keep ourselves deluded. Merely joining ISKCON and taking initiation does not mean that we have successfully embarked on the internal work of confronting ourselves with the topic of death. Devotees may sometimes be caught by death without warning. And then they say, “Oh no! I never thought that this would ever happen to me!” Or, “to my wife or husband.” So even when we are initiated devotees, we run the risk of conveniently maintaining an attitude of denial while turning a blind eye to the existence of death, pretending it will never happen.
A Vaishnava can turn any calamity into a golden opportunity to take shelter more seriously of the lotus feet of the Lord and His devotees by holding on to them. Adversities have the power to shake us up and drastically transform our spiritual practice. They can have us shifted from our comfort zone of material satisfaction and complacency and make us wake up to the facts of reality that we will soon have to move on. We may realise that all our big successes and achievements will have lost all their significance when we face death – they will have no importance then. All that we will be allowed to keep is our relationship with Krishna and His holy name – that’s all. Nothing more. A sobering experience when we stand closer to the edge of life.
I remember hearing one of our sadhus sharing with devotees some personal experience in this connection. During his routine medical check-up, some irregularity caught the attention of the sadhu’s doctor, who immediately exclaimed, “We have to examine this – it could very well be cancer!” So the doctor took a biopsy, and the results of the analysis took more than a week to come. And then Maharaja laughingly said, “In these ten days, I probably chanted the best rounds of my life!” He had experienced an entire shift in
his consciousness, thinking, “This may very well be it! The end of this life!” A true wake-up call! Later, it turned out not to be cancer after all.

On the 7th of March I flew from Muscat to Frankfurt....
Your servant, Devaki dd

Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
             www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/
​

I was scheduled to visit Dubai for Gaur Purnima. It was my first visit to this part of the world, and the local leaders had arranged a variety of programs in the area. However, it all came a little different than expected....
After a couple of days, the war started to break out, and some US Military bases and ships around Dubai and other parts of the Emirates were attacked. Sometimes we heard heavy and close-by blasts taking down the missiles and drones – my host stayed near the port which was not such a safe location. So for the following two days we stayed home, and I offered all the programs online.
As the situation quickly escalated, I rang the German consulate in Dubai and got the advice to leave the country overland to Muscat/Oman which was not so affected by the disturbances, and thus the airport in Muscat was still functioning. I was also advised to register with ELEFAND – an Electronic Registration of Germans Abroad, an official crisis prevention list managed by the German Federal Foreign Office. They regularly send updates according to the country mentioned in one's registration.
I spent time researching things and finally came to terms with the idea to better leave the country. I was not so concerned for my personal safety but was rather afraid to get stuck there and miss my flight booked for the 17th of March from Frankfurt to the US. So I had to make sure I would reach Germany within the next week or so! In the early morning of Gaur Purnime, my hosts drove me across the border to stay with the devotees in Sohar/Oman. The border crossing was very smooth – no traffic, no queues and no questions asked! I expected something different. Later I heard that 12 hours later there were huge queues! In times of war we have to be quick....!
Sohar has a nice nama hatta community, and we had a sweet little Gaur Purnima gathering with around 50 serious devotees participating. Upon the request of the local devotees I stayed another day and had an evening program which was also well attended.
The next morning, the devotees drove me from Sohar to Muscat where I was well received by an eager gathering of devotees. They have the tradition that whenever a preacher visits, the devotees gather in somebody’s home and take lunch together with the visitor. A nice tradition and loving exchange which brings devotees together. We had an evening program on the same day which was very well attended by around 60 or more devotees gathering in a big home.
In the middle of the night I received a call from the Office of Foreign Affairs in Berlin, offering me to get on a special flight to Frankfurt the next evening, designated to evacuate stranded German tourists. I had left a message through ELEFAND that I have to return to Germany as soon as possible, and indeed, within 10 hours, they contacted me! Something which I didn’t expect considering that there were 30,000 German tourists stranded in the Emirates. I accepted the offer to get on this flight, although I also felt sorry to leave the nice community of devotees. But I concluded it was good to return to Cologne as soon as possible since I had a lot of errands to do before flying out to the US.
During my time in the Middle East I remembered that His Holiness Niranjana Maharaja was in Kiev at the same time, and I felt I was sharing a little of the war-adventure and spirit....
The short visit to the Middle East gave me a good idea of the nice communities of devotees there, and I hope to be back in the future....

Death is the only part of life that is a hundred percent certain. Everything else may or may not happen; we don’t know. But death will happen for sure! It is unquestionable! And yet, we expertly keep pretending that death will never happen to us. And death sometimes reaches us quicker than we expect it to. Even when we are young, something may suddenly happen and boom – we are
instantly kicked out of our body. We don’t know when this tragic moment might strike us?
Despite Krishna having given us many warnings about death – when death comes to knock on our door, we exclaim, “Oh, how unexpected!” Why should we allow it to be unexpected? In fact, it must be expected to come at any time. The fact that we call death an unexpected incident clearly shows just how much we want to keep ourselves deluded. Merely joining ISKCON and taking initiation does not mean that we have successfully embarked on the internal work of confronting ourselves with the topic of death. Devotees may sometimes be caught by death without warning. And then they say, “Oh no! I never thought that this would ever happen to me!” Or, “to my wife or husband.” So even when we are initiated devotees, we run the risk of conveniently maintaining an attitude of denial while turning a blind eye to the existence of death, pretending it will never happen.
A Vaishnava can turn any calamity into a golden opportunity to take shelter more seriously of the lotus feet of the Lord and His devotees by holding on to them. Adversities have the power to shake us up and drastically transform our spiritual practice. They can have us shifted from our comfort zone of material satisfaction and complacency and make us wake up to the facts of reality that we will soon have to move on. We may realise that all our big successes and achievements will have lost all their significance when we face death – they will have no importance then. All that we will be allowed to keep is our relationship with Krishna and His holy name – that’s all. Nothing more. A sobering experience when we stand closer to the edge of life.
I remember hearing one of our sadhus sharing with devotees some personal experience in this connection. During his routine medical check-up, some irregularity caught the attention of the sadhu’s doctor, who immediately exclaimed, “We have to examine this – it could very well be cancer!” So the doctor took a biopsy, and the results of the analysis took more than a week to come. And then Maharaja laughingly said, “In these ten days, I probably chanted the best rounds of my life!” He had experienced an entire shift in
his consciousness, thinking, “This may very well be it! The end of this life!” A true wake-up call! Later, it turned out not to be cancer after all.

On the 7th of March I flew from Muscat to Frankfurt....
Your servant, Devaki dd

Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
             www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
https://www.facebook.com/instituteforspiritualculture/

When accompanying my father through his final days, only 45 minutes prior to his departure, he talked about South India – how nice Kerala is, with comfortable, big houses. It was almost as if informing us where he was going. I am sure he is there now, continuing his journey, having taken birth in a devotee family. He had such a strong affinity to India! He would often say, “I don’t know what it is, but I feel so comfortable and at home in India; taking my hot tea with milk early in the mornings on the tea stalls, together with all the other men. I lead a double life – I am at home in Germany in my nice house, but also in India.” And I responded, “I know what it is – you were in India in your previous life.” He wasn’t sure whether to believe it or not. He always had a sun tan all year round, and he sometimes pointed at his sun-tanned arms, exclaiming, “You see! I am actually Indian; only by mistake, I’ve ended up in Germany!” Some of his friends in India would commonly introduce him to others by saying: “He is actually Indian, but somehow he took birth in Germany.”
Now, visiting the devotees in Trivandrum, I could understand why he was so fond of Kerala....
​

In The Nectar of Devotion, Chapter Three, Srila Prabhupada explains:
"Therefore, anyone who has any desire or aspiration for satisfying his senses by becoming more and more important, either in the material sense or in the spiritual sense, cannot actually relish the really sweet taste of devotional service."
Reading this statement for the first time with attention deeply affected my heart. It struck me how we have to give up this deep-rooted desire of becoming a more and more important person – even in a spiritual sense – if we want to eventually taste the sweet fruits of pure bhakti. Unless we give up the desire for fame and recognition, we will simply taste the fruits of ego satisfaction. Such fruits have a very different taste than the fruits of pure devotion. We may often confuse those two kinds of fruits, and we may easily mistake the taste of ego satisfaction to be the taste coming from devotional service. But there is a vast difference between them – as different as iron is from gold.
If we are not fully satisfied in our devotional life, not relishing the sweet taste of our services, we may ask ourselves, “What is my motivation? Maybe I desire fame and recognition? Maybe I am not truly selfless and unmotivated?”
In Sri Guru-vandana, His Holiness Gour Govinda Maharaja warns us:
"Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati says, jadera pratistha, sukarera vistha. Labha, puja, pratistha – desires for name, fame and adoration – are the stool of a she-hog. [From Vaishnava Ke?] The Vaishnava who runs after this name, fame, and adoration is merely running after the stool of a she-hog, sukarera vistha. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta has cautioned us that we should be very, very careful not to run after name, fame and adoration because it creates a great obstacle to the growth of the bhakti-lata. Instead of making advancement, your advancement will be checked and you may fall down."
The desire for recognition may manifest in very subtle forms, and thus we may not so easily detect it. The process of Krishna consciousness offers ample opportunities to place ourselves in the centre and feed our false ego. Giving classes and leading kirtans may create an ideal forum for trying to receive such gratification.
In the name of Krishna consciousness, we can do the opposite of what we should be doing: Instead of subduing and dissolving the false ego, we can feed and expand it to the maximum. It is all going on in the name of devotional service. In this way, we can miss the target of spiritual practice entirely. Instead of developing pure devotion to the Lord and His devotees, we may simply use the process of devotional practice for our own self-aggrandisement.
It requires introspection and honesty to detect those weeds within our hearts. We have to reflect: “What am I trying to do here? Am I trying to cultivate pure devotion to the Lord, or am I on an ego trip, running after the fruits of satisfying my ego? What is my motive?”
We can easily maintain our hopes and illusions, thinking that these fruits of ego satisfaction are also very tasty and juicy. We may even mistake them to be the fruits of devotional service, believing that we are doing the right thing. But we are not. We are missing the goal.
As Srila Prabhupada explains, when we run after such ego satisfaction, trying to become a more and more important person – even in a spiritual sense – we cannot experience the really sweet taste of devotional service.
Therefore, we do need a confidential, well-wishing friend on our side who has no other interest except assisting us in our spiritual growth. Such a person will be able to help us distinguish the weeds from the bhakti-lata. On our own, we may be lost.

On the 19th of November I moved on to Trivandrum/Kerala.....

Your servant, Devaki dd

Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
             www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
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On the 30th of October I moved on to visit the devotee community in Nagpur for one week. One of the leaders had attended some of my courses in Mayapur last year and had urged me to come for a visit. More than 15 years ago they established a little temple with Radha Gopinath and Gaur Nitai Deities and are now in the process of constructing a bigger temple in the new part of the city.
Every evening throughout the entire week of my visit, the devotees eagerly assembled in the seminar room of the temple in order to hear and discuss a variety of thought-provoking topics relevant for their daily practice of Krishna consciousness. "Meeting Death With Joy" was especially intriguing to them - for the first time they heard a seminar exclusively dedicated to the topic of death, with their fear being somewhat lifted from their hearts.

Death is the only part of life that is a hundred percent certain. Everything else may or may not happen; we don’t know. But death will happen for sure! It is unquestionable! And yet, we expertly keep pretending that death will never happen to us. And death sometimes reaches us quicker than we expect it to. Even when we are young, something may suddenly happen and boom – we are
instantly kicked out of our body. We don’t know when this tragic moment might strike us...
The death warning is always given – Krishna warns us in many ways... by old age, by disease, and by giving us many valuable instructions in the shastra. Nevertheless, receiving a more precise and unmistakable warning may be considered the greatest blessing. This may shake us up to finally take the warning more seriously. It is rather sobering to receive the diagnosis of a terminal disease such as cancer. Then we can deliberately prepare – as if consciously getting ready to embark on an exciting journey ahead of us.

We can just imagine ourselves being taken by surprise when we suddenly receive the news that in two hours’ time, we need to travel to the airport and board a plane that is flying to India from Europe. We would probably start panicking, feeling unprepared and simply not ready for the journey, unable to finalise the many last-minute matters in such a short time. Under the circumstances, our departure would not be so relaxed or peaceful. But if we receive the news one month ahead of time, we would then have plenty of opportunities and time to prepare for the journey; tidying up our home, emptying our fridge, making all the final arrangements for all the important things to go on in our absence, and so forth. Our departure will be well-planned and peacefully managed, without hectic activity and disturbances arising from the mode of passion.
Furthermore, we would be able to meditate on our destination; on whom we will meet and on the kind of service we will engage in. We would be able to meditate on Vrindavan, Mayapur. Within our mind, we are now already there, visualising and planning our visit. And we are increasingly looking forward to visiting these places. Only our external body is still in Europe; our mind has already reached our destination. We may be surrounded by friends and relatives expressing their sadness at our departure, but our mind is fixed on leaving and, with joy and determination, we are getting ready to go and board the plane.
Likewise, we can take it to be a great mercy and blessing to receive a definite warning of death approaching very soon. Our thought should be, “Now it’s time to get ready and leave.” Throughout the process of coming to terms with the fact that our life is coming to an end, we will need a well-wishing friend who will reach out to us – a person who is somewhat beyond the bodily platform. A realised friend who will not simply pity us, saying, “Oh, you poor thing! How do you feel?” Someone who can connect with us on the level of the soul, going beyond the bodily platform and actually encouraging us to move on to our next destination. Without such help and support, it may be difficult to maintain a spiritual vision of the challenging situation, and we may easily get affected by the three modes of nature, overwhelmed by sorrow, depression, fear, anxieties, lamentations and denial.
However, with the help and support of such a guiding friend, we can plan our departure as far as possible, like deciding on where we want to leave this world, and who we would like to have around us. We can finalise many last matters within our life, peacefully bringing things to a satisfying, thoughtful closure. We can absorb our mind in remembering the spiritual world by hearing and looking at the beautiful BBT paintings that Srila Prabhupada describes as the windows to the spiritual world. Looking at all the beautiful details of these paintings may be a very effective way of bringing our mind to the spiritual world; in fact, we can almost enter them within our meditation! During our final days, this may be easier in many ways, rather than hearing someone read from the Srimad-Bhagavatam to us. Even in a healthy state we may find it difficult to concentrate and hear when somebody reads, not to speak of the difficulty we face when approaching death. I personally have already chosen my favourite paintings, which I hope to gaze at when preparing to leave – Krishna willing....
Needless to say, during the last phase of preparing for our departure, the chanting of the holy name is our foremost service – our most important work is to pray. Our body may not allow us to engage in anything more than that, and even chanting may become extremely difficult. Begging Krishna to kindly accept us, allowing us to go to Him; filling our chanting with longing for a relationship with the Lord. Such prayerful chanting will deepen our connection with the Lord, facilitating our smooth journey onwards.
When travelling to a far place within this material world, we will be fearless and eager to embark on the journey if we know that a well-wishing friend will be waiting for us there. We can rest assured that we will be well taken care of. On the contrary, when travelling to an unknown destination where we don’t have any relationships, we may be doubtful about who will receive and take care of us. In fact, we may rather decide not to visit that place at all.
Likewise, our relationship and connection with Krishna gives us the confidence to move on – He has been waiting for us for countless lifetimes! We can then more easily let go of our last attachments to this world and pass on. Our fear of death directly indicates that our relationship with Krishna is still very weak. We will lose our fear of death in proportion to the depth with which we are situated in our loving bond with the Lord.
In this way, by undergoing an intense period of preparation, our mind will gradually reach Krishna’s divine abode, and we will come to the point of eagerly looking forward to leaving. In great anticipation, we will be thinking, “When will the delayed flight be ready for boarding – today, tomorrow?” Even though some of our friends or relatives may be sitting at our bedside crying and lamenting, begging us to stay longer and get healthy again, we are resolute in our determination to go. There is now no lamentation or fear – we are ready to depart. After all, it can only get better.
There may be some little uncertainties remaining, not exactly knowing where our ticket will take us, and who will be there to meet us at our destination. With unflinching faith in Krishna, we put ourselves in His hands, knowing well that He will perfectly take care of everything. After all, He arranged things throughout our whole life beyond comparison – why shouldn’t He do so in this last and most crucial of all moments?
Ultimately, our main concern is to be once again in the association of devotees and get an opportunity to serve the Lord and His devotees. And we can rest assured that this will happen.
I hope to receive a good warning well in advance that gives me enough time to prepare for my departure; this is my desire. Cancer suits me perfectly.
Krishna has already given me two good warnings in the form of cancer – a great rehearsal for the final one, which I truly would not want to miss. Those phases of cancer were the most precious times of my life. Leaving one’s body in a plane crash would not give one much time and peace of mind to prepare – a rather horrifying way to depart. Ultimately, the choice is not up to us – it is Krishna Who has the final say...

On the 5th of November I moved on to Pune.....

Your servant, Devaki dd

Please visit www.theholynameretreat.net
             www.therootsofspiritualculture.net
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We can understand our heart to be a sacred place. By maintaining grudges, we allow the toxic effects of resentment to pollute those sacred chambers of our heart. That which offends us only weakens us. Holding on to the feeling of being offended only magnifies the same destructive energy that offended us in the first place. And we poison our heart by hanging on to it, rather than letting go of it and moving on.
Nelson Mandela stated: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Within our minds, we try to punish the other person by maintaining our own anger and ill feelings towards them, but in actuality we punish ourselves. We continue to carry the negativity with us, and therefore maintain the negative association of the person with whom the ill feelings are associated.
Being easily offended can be a sign of being self-centred, proud, insecure and lacking wisdom. It appears as a small problem, but in reality it will keep us from experiencing joy, peace of mind and Krishna’s mercy. Sometimes people carry the burden of resentments within their hearts for many years, whereas the other person forgot about the event a long time ago and moved on.
Unfortunately, so often we have devotees leaving the association of Vaishnavas because of this very reason: being offended. Some disagreement may have taken place and some harsh words may have been exchanged. A person may be offended, not being able to overcome the resentments building up in their hearts. They may find all the justifications within their minds and all the reasons why the community of the devotees is not worth associating with any longer. And as a result, their spiritual practice becomes weak or even dries up entirely. They fade away, never to be seen again.
Whenever anyone has affronted us, we can raise our consciousness so high that the offence cannot reach it. As our relationship with Krishna gradually becomes a tangible reality for us, we can take refuge at His lotus feet; we no longer look for occasions to be offended, and we do not judge and label others. We experience a deep satisfaction that is beyond the effects of anyone or anything external.
If someone has offended us, insulted us or disappointed us, let it go. If we are remembering all the ways we have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! We may ask ourselves, “What good does it do for me to hold on to this?” Or, "Will this still be important at the moment of death?" And we realise it has no true significance....

On the 8th of October I flew on to Delhi.....

Your servant, Devaki dd

In regards to Balaram Pran Prabhu and his wife I was involved as a matchmaker, guiding them both through the period of association to get to know each other. After they arrived at the decision to get married, they both strongly requested me to attend this event so important for them; and since I have a personal relationship with them, I accepted their heartfelt invitation.

Ramananda Prabhu who serves as the headpujari in Simhachalam conducts the wedding ceremonies in a unique and heartfelt style, and since Balaram Pran Prabhu has been a strong part of the community for a good number of years and accepts a lot of services and responsibilities, many devotees assembled to witness the joyful event and give their blessings.
The wedding had a special flavour since Balaram Pran Prabhu comes from a Muslim family in Jordan, and Lalita Mataji is from Ukraine. Both of their family members were able to come for this event and enjoyed witnessing the sweet and heart-moving ceremony while spending some days at the farm and receiving some insights and first experiences of Krishna consciousness.
​