We did a couple of programs at their center, and also at the University in Rochester which was well attended by a good crowd of around 35 to 40 devotees - not only students but also congregational members, including a Prabhupada disciple. We also had a house program in Auburn in a small circle of mainly Western people, and another house program in Oswego which was mainly attended by Indian devotees and guests. So we had a good variety of programs in small communities.
In the Srimad-Bhagavatam (5.18.9) in the word-for-word translation, Srila Prabhupada gives the meaning to khalah as being “the envious,” and he adds in brackets “almost everyone”. We all have the experience of envy being a
very ugly quality. And Srila Prabhupada, in a humorous way, reminds us that it also includes us, even though we may rather like to keep ourselves in the illusion that it concerns everyone else except us. However, it is almost everyone who is affected by envy. To admit that we are envious is not easy, yet it is the first step to become free of it.
Even in our relationship to juniors, envy manifests — by deriding them; we belittle and make fun of them. We have a good laugh at their expense, showing off how smart and witty we are. We may even humiliate a younger devotee by speaking in a condescending way to them, talking down to them, especially in the presence of others. We show our superior position by speaking too high a knowledge and philosophy, using terms they don’t understand in order to impress them. We may ignore their skills and engage them in services which are too menial, not wanting them to rise to a higher level but keeping them below us. We cannot bear the thought of seeing them become more successful than we are.
However, just the fact that a person who has authority over us may initially ignore our material skills, does not necessarily mean he is envious of us. Especially when a materially qualified person accepts Krishna consciousness, it easily enlarges his false ego and cultivates pride if he is immediately given a high position which utilizes his ability. The person may then think himself to be so special and advanced by doing this important and highly qualified service. We don’t do a young devotee any favors by prematurely giving him power over others and a high
position based on his material qualifications. In fact, it may ruin his spiritual life. Therefore, Srila Prabhupada advised us that even highly qualified people should begin their devotional life by doing menial service and cleaning the floor — in order to learn how to become a humble servant.
Out of envy towards a junior, we may also give him tasks which are too difficult for him to execute — just so we get the gratification that he shows himself as useless after all, and only we ourselves can perform the service. At times, we can observe this tendency sneaking in when trying to delegate a task to somebody else while deeply in our hearts hoping that he will not be successful, or at least not as successful as we would be. And therefore we don’t follow up and offer further advice and help, but rather give up all responsibilities in regards to fulfilling the task. And ultimately we hope for the confirmation that only we ourselves can do it successfully.
Our envy can also manifest by our being very impatient with a young devotee, feeling ourselves too important and busy to have time for him. We may consider him simply too low to pay any attention to or engage him at all. In this way, we may be using our superior position for our own subtle gratification. As it is so subtle, it often remains undetected, since our contaminated intelligence can always find justifications for our dealings...
On the 5th of May I flew to Munich - back to Europe....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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