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Reflection while returning to Kharkov/Ukraine

8/15/2017

 
When boarding the plane in Bangalore on the evening of the 10th of August I had a long journey ahead of me: from Bangalore to Mumbai, further to Sharjah/Middle East, and then to Kiev and on to Kharkov. Almost 30 hours. I had only been discharged from the Ayurvedic Clinic one day before, and I was still a little weak after the Panchakarma treatment. But I was determined to reach Kharkov for Janmastami in order to be amongst all those wonderful devotees - as it had been a long standing tradition. For me it is not easy to experience a deep and sweet mood at festivals when being in a part of the world, where thousands of visiters come to the temple. Therefore I prefer to be outside of India or Bangladesh for the main Vaishnava festivals. I had invited Deena Bandhu Prabhu from Vrindavan to spend Janmastami with us, and he was scheduled to arrive on the same day. So I was anxious to reach there.
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For my long journey I had decided to book wheelchair assistance. I had discovered this to be a very convenient trick, since it makes traveling so much easier and smoother: no queueing up at the immigration and security checks, since there are special counters for those needing wheelchair assistance. And no running down long corridors at big airports, carrying hand-luggage. Many airports have separate and comfortable lounges specially for those needing assistance, where one can relax and even get some sleep when stopping over, or take bath. And one is picked up again in time to get to the boarding gate, so no anxieties whatsoever. Booking this facility made my journey rather smooth and less strenuous, and on my arrival in Kiev Bhaktin Liza met me with a nice lunch. She had booked a room for me in the Airport Hotel for a few hours. I took bath, had a rest and took prasadam, and then flew on to Kharkov, where I was welcomed by a group of affectionate devotees eagerly awaiting my arrival.
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On my journey back to Europe I had plenty of time to reflect on the events of the past four months. Once again I marvelled how Krishna had arranged everything so perfectly, starting from the very beginning, when this tumour was "conincidentally" discovered in such early stage. And two days later I had undergone the surgery - once again at Bhaktivedanta Hospital. And Bangalore had been the very best place to take the Chemotherapy. Dr Vishwanath had been the prefect Oncologist to agree with the milder treatment which my Oncologist from Melbourne had suggested - any more senior doctor would have most likely not accepted this idea. Often the false ego is in the way, which makes a doctor insist to accept his treatment plan, and not any other. So Apollo Hospital was the perfect place to go through the treatment, and I had the wonderful opportunity of conducting the preaching program for the doctors and staff, which had given me such a nice meditation and mission during the treatment. Furthermore I had received the best possible care, staying with various devotees who had accepted me as part of their family, and also arranged some preaching opportunities on some of the weekends. And Bangalore has such pleasant climate, with all kinds of good quality foods and fruits being easily available. And finally taking the Panchakarma treatment under the expert guidance of Dr Vivekanand, which had been another insightful experience. Krishna couldn't have possibly made a better arrangement! I was awestruck, how Krishna is truly there, making such arrangements - nobody else could have come up with a better one! Krishna gives us such wonderful opportunities in order to increase our faith by revealing Himself - how He is indeed taking part in our life..

To one day leave my body with cancer suits me perfectly. I am not the type of person who wants to hang around until I am eighty. Cancer gives a good notice and opportunity to prepare - to throw some luggage overboard, let go of attachments, free the mind of all kinds of issues and focus on the Lord. This is actually how I would like to leave this world. Let us see what Krishna will arrange - He has always arranged everything so perfectly in my life, and I have full faith that He will continue to do so. I hope I will be able to put all the courses on spiritual culture into book format which I have developed - before it is time for me to leave......

Ten years ago, when I had gone through the first cancer adventure, it had brought about some changes to my life. I had accepted it as a good reason to finally retire from my service of collecting laxmi for Bangladesh and other projects during some months per year, and dedicate myself fully to preaching. I had been at a loss, what is more important: to preach and take care of devotees, or to collect for those projects. Senior devotees had given me contradictory instructions on this matter, and I had prayed to Srila Prabhupada to give me a clear sign when it was time for me to discontinue this service. And I had taken this diagnose as Krishna's clear sign to move on in my life.

Now being diagnosed with cancer a second time had brought about another turning point in my life: to spend more time writing. I clearly understood that books are a very powerful means to distribute knowledge - as Srila Prabhupada and so many Vaishnavas have demonstrated to us. And now I felt the right point in time had come for me to give more energy to this service. Many devotees had requested me in the past to produce books on the topic of spiritual culture, and my answer had always been: "As long as my health is strong, I will travel and give courses as much as possible. And when my health decreases I will spend more time writing." Obviously now the time had come....

I had left the Ayurvedic clinic with a few resolutions: to spend a little more time in nature, to give my body more regular exercise, to spend more time writing, and to visit the Ayurvedic clinic once in a while and take some time out - a couple of weeks, under Dr Vivekanand's care......

On the next morning after my arrival in Kharkov I welcomed Deena Bandhu Prabhu, and after the morning program met with our main pujaris to discuss the details of our this year's Janmastami decorations.......

Your servant, Devaki dd

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