In the second half of October I went to see my mother - she had fallen over in the bathroom at night and had hit her forehead against a radiator, which created a wound that had to be stitched up. So I felt I should give her some association and care.
I had planned to stay with her for two weeks. However, exactly during this time there had been a bigger program in Simhachalam/Germany with HH Sacinandana Swami and HH Kadamba Kanana Swami taking part. And during this event everyone got sick with the Corona virus - including both Maharajas. The visiting devotees hastily left the place, before the health department placed the community under quarantine. One of our community members works as a surgeon in a hospital in the next bigger city, and he has to regularly undergo Corona tests for his work. So he was the first one who tested positive, which of course attracted the attention of the health department. The Germans are well organised and bureaucratic....
I had initially lamented that I would miss the nice program, but later I could understand that Krishna had protected me from getting sick. So I decided not to return to Simhachalam until everybody would have recovered, which was only in mid of November....
In this way, I had to extend the time at my mother's house to a bit more than three weeks. Fortunately she lives in a big two-family house, and I had the floor downstairs to myself, with my own kitchen and bathroom, and she lives upstairs. So we had our own space.
I settled into a regular routine of following my sadhana in the morning and cooking lunch for us every day, which she enjoyed eating. I endeavored to make it tasty and healthy for her, with little surprises - just like she had done when I was a child. And of course I had the famous and super tasty laddhus from Lord Nrsimhadeva's plate with me!
In the mornings and afternoons she has every day people coming who she pays and who take her out into nature in her wheelchair with motor, or give her company and read something with her. And in the evenings I came again with a light dinner, and we read something together before she took rest. This schedule gave me a bit of time in the early mornings and afternoons to maintain my service. So we established a good routine, giving each other some space. She was very grateful for my association, and as always, we had nice and meaningful exchanges and discussions.
Already in my childhood my mother trained us to offer a prayer before taking a meal, and she has maintained this tradition throughout her whole life - until the present day. When I visit her now, we usually take turns - one day she offers the prayer, and the next day it is my turn. On previous visits, I always chanted our prasadam prayers: "Mahaprasade govinde nama-brahmani vaishnave...." and "Sarira avidya jal..." And my mother used to ask me afterwards to give the translation.
Now, when I stayed with her for a longer time, I had another idea: I offered spontaneous prayers such as: "My dear Lord! We have ignored you for so many lifetimes, and now we want to turn towards You and re-establish our loving relationship with You. Please allow us to remember You at every moment, especially at the moment of death, so we can go back to Your Divine abode." Or: "My dear Lord! We understand that the reason why You send us suffering and pain is, so we can remember You and call out to You in helplessness. Please help us to cultivate a deep longing for You." Or: "My dear Lord, please accept us. All we want to do is serve You and Your devotees."
My mother appreciated these prayers, sometimes stating: "You said this very nicely. I agree with every word you said..." And just to please her I finished the prayer with "Amen". After some days, she became inspired to also offer deeper and more meaningful prayers, rather than just thanking the Lord for the meal and daily bread.
Sometimes I expressed a little message for her in these prayers, for example by appealing to the Lord to help us become humble and tolerant, and to give up our tendency to criticize and find faults in others. And I could sense that it touched her heart.
It had taken me 35 years to come up with this idea.....
I had initially lamented that I would miss the nice program, but later I could understand that Krishna had protected me from getting sick. So I decided not to return to Simhachalam until everybody would have recovered, which was only in mid of November....
In this way, I had to extend the time at my mother's house to a bit more than three weeks. Fortunately she lives in a big two-family house, and I had the floor downstairs to myself, with my own kitchen and bathroom, and she lives upstairs. So we had our own space.
I settled into a regular routine of following my sadhana in the morning and cooking lunch for us every day, which she enjoyed eating. I endeavored to make it tasty and healthy for her, with little surprises - just like she had done when I was a child. And of course I had the famous and super tasty laddhus from Lord Nrsimhadeva's plate with me!
In the mornings and afternoons she has every day people coming who she pays and who take her out into nature in her wheelchair with motor, or give her company and read something with her. And in the evenings I came again with a light dinner, and we read something together before she took rest. This schedule gave me a bit of time in the early mornings and afternoons to maintain my service. So we established a good routine, giving each other some space. She was very grateful for my association, and as always, we had nice and meaningful exchanges and discussions.
Already in my childhood my mother trained us to offer a prayer before taking a meal, and she has maintained this tradition throughout her whole life - until the present day. When I visit her now, we usually take turns - one day she offers the prayer, and the next day it is my turn. On previous visits, I always chanted our prasadam prayers: "Mahaprasade govinde nama-brahmani vaishnave...." and "Sarira avidya jal..." And my mother used to ask me afterwards to give the translation.
Now, when I stayed with her for a longer time, I had another idea: I offered spontaneous prayers such as: "My dear Lord! We have ignored you for so many lifetimes, and now we want to turn towards You and re-establish our loving relationship with You. Please allow us to remember You at every moment, especially at the moment of death, so we can go back to Your Divine abode." Or: "My dear Lord! We understand that the reason why You send us suffering and pain is, so we can remember You and call out to You in helplessness. Please help us to cultivate a deep longing for You." Or: "My dear Lord, please accept us. All we want to do is serve You and Your devotees."
My mother appreciated these prayers, sometimes stating: "You said this very nicely. I agree with every word you said..." And just to please her I finished the prayer with "Amen". After some days, she became inspired to also offer deeper and more meaningful prayers, rather than just thanking the Lord for the meal and daily bread.
Sometimes I expressed a little message for her in these prayers, for example by appealing to the Lord to help us become humble and tolerant, and to give up our tendency to criticize and find faults in others. And I could sense that it touched her heart.
It had taken me 35 years to come up with this idea.....
On the first Sunday in the month of Kartik I traveled for two and half hours by train to Heidelberg and offered the Sunday feast lecture in our preaching center. After two weeks of not meeting devotees it was a great joy to have Vaishnava association, sing the Damodarastaka and kirtan and take prasadam together with the devotees. I had missed it terribly....
On the next morning I traveled back to my mother's place - returning into exile...
On the next morning I traveled back to my mother's place - returning into exile...
Every day I went for walks in the fields and forests to get some exercise. I marvelled at the beautiful autumn colors, with yellow and dark red leaves falling from the trees and being carried by the wind. And I collected some nice apples from the ground to make apple puree. The European autumn brings along a certain mood of melancholy, contemplation and introspection. It is the season when life is dwindling and gradually withdrawing, until winter comes with its ice-cold climate - the mood of inertness and sleep - almost like a symbolic death. And beautiful spring brings everything back to life carrying the mood of re-awakening, birth and blossoming....
On the 13th of November I took a train to Leipzig....
Your servant, Devaki dd
On the 13th of November I took a train to Leipzig....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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