The first time I met Abhyarci Mataji was in 1990 or 1991 - I can't exactly remember. I was married at the time, and by Krsna's arrangement we were establishing the temple in Riga/Latvia, which was in those days part of the Soviet Union. HH Niranjana Swami had sent some girls from Ukraine to us to receive some training, and Abhyarci was one of them. She stayed for around six months with us, and already then I noticed her as a very enthusiastic and sincere devotee, always eager to serve the devotees and distribute books.
Then, for some years, our paths didn't cross. I met her again regularly from the year 2000 onwards, when I started preaching in Ukraine and Moldova, and also came to Mayapur every year. I always appreciated her as a simple and straight forward devotee - sincere and like minded, and I have always liked to associate with her.
Some years ago, when Bhaja Govinda Prabhu from Kiev/Ukraine left his body in Mayapur, we took care of him, together with her husband Govinda Datta Prabhu. I then bought the Krsna Art Book with the nice paintings to help Bhaja Govinda absorb his mind while looking at the beautiful pictures. And I pointed at the paintings which she should show me when my turn would come to prepare for death..... Little did we know that she would leave first....
Then, for some years, our paths didn't cross. I met her again regularly from the year 2000 onwards, when I started preaching in Ukraine and Moldova, and also came to Mayapur every year. I always appreciated her as a simple and straight forward devotee - sincere and like minded, and I have always liked to associate with her.
Some years ago, when Bhaja Govinda Prabhu from Kiev/Ukraine left his body in Mayapur, we took care of him, together with her husband Govinda Datta Prabhu. I then bought the Krsna Art Book with the nice paintings to help Bhaja Govinda absorb his mind while looking at the beautiful pictures. And I pointed at the paintings which she should show me when my turn would come to prepare for death..... Little did we know that she would leave first....
Last year in May I conducted a Holy Name Retreat in Kishiniev/Moldova, and she was there and attended. She had just found out her diagnose, and I was eager to spend time with her and encourage her to focus on getting ready to leave, by deepening her chanting, hearing and remembering. She accepted everything in a very sober and Krsna conscious mood and was grateful to speak to somebody who had also gone through the experience of having had cancer, and who saw things with a cool head. When I came to Mayapur at the end of December I was eager to find out how she was doing. She was just going through Chemo - something I had also experienced, and we again exchanged realizations. In a gentle and joking way I was always trying to take her illusion away that she would recover, and strongly encouraged her to focus on the ultimate medicine: absorption in Krsna. I had a strong desire to offer my last little service to her: to take her to Ekachakra for a Holy Name Retreat, hoping that this would transport her to a different reality - the eternal reality of the Holy Name alone being everything. Harer namaiva kevalam..... She had an intense desire to come along, but at the end of December it was very cold, and she was weak from the Chemo, so we porsponed it to the next retreat in February.
At the last Retreat at the end of February she happily agreed to come out to Ekachakra. However, after one day she became restless and realized that she feels too unsettled to fully concentrate and absorb herself, and she returned back to Mayapur. My last exchange with her was in Ekachakra. We embraced, and she started crying, expressing how much she would have liked to stay to the end of the Retreat, saying: "I hope Nitai will understand and give me His mercy anyway....." And she expressed how meaningful it had been to her to come out to Ekachakra, even for one day... Of course, I had no idea that this would be my last encounter with her, even though I could sense that she didn't have much time left in this body. I do regret a little that I failed to check up on her after returning to Mayapur. I guess I was so busy preparing for the Inauguration Program, and it somehow slipped my mind. And then I got sick myself and was forced to take rest. On the other hand it is nice to keep her in my memory when we parted in Ekachakra. It was special and very sweet....
During these past three months in Mayapur I had very personal exchanges with her, and we were often joking. The "tumor humor.....", which only cancer patients can relate to. When I met her I would sometimes jokingly say: "So, you are still around....?!" And we were both laughing. Once I said to her: "When you get to Krsna tell Him that I also want to come soon....", and she laughingly agreed.
Once I asked her whether I should bring the nice Krsna Art Book over to her place, and she laughed and replied: "Maybe a little later..."
When I received a call on the 6th of March that she was on her way to leave, I immediately grabbed the huge book and brought it over to her place, but it was too late then.... She had already cut off from the outside world and was preparing to go.
For me she is one of those seemingly insignificant devotees who secretly sneak off, back to Godhead. And hardly anybody takes much notice of it.....!
Abhyarchi Mataji Ki Jaya.....!
Your servant, Devaki dd
At the last Retreat at the end of February she happily agreed to come out to Ekachakra. However, after one day she became restless and realized that she feels too unsettled to fully concentrate and absorb herself, and she returned back to Mayapur. My last exchange with her was in Ekachakra. We embraced, and she started crying, expressing how much she would have liked to stay to the end of the Retreat, saying: "I hope Nitai will understand and give me His mercy anyway....." And she expressed how meaningful it had been to her to come out to Ekachakra, even for one day... Of course, I had no idea that this would be my last encounter with her, even though I could sense that she didn't have much time left in this body. I do regret a little that I failed to check up on her after returning to Mayapur. I guess I was so busy preparing for the Inauguration Program, and it somehow slipped my mind. And then I got sick myself and was forced to take rest. On the other hand it is nice to keep her in my memory when we parted in Ekachakra. It was special and very sweet....
During these past three months in Mayapur I had very personal exchanges with her, and we were often joking. The "tumor humor.....", which only cancer patients can relate to. When I met her I would sometimes jokingly say: "So, you are still around....?!" And we were both laughing. Once I said to her: "When you get to Krsna tell Him that I also want to come soon....", and she laughingly agreed.
Once I asked her whether I should bring the nice Krsna Art Book over to her place, and she laughed and replied: "Maybe a little later..."
When I received a call on the 6th of March that she was on her way to leave, I immediately grabbed the huge book and brought it over to her place, but it was too late then.... She had already cut off from the outside world and was preparing to go.
For me she is one of those seemingly insignificant devotees who secretly sneak off, back to Godhead. And hardly anybody takes much notice of it.....!
Abhyarchi Mataji Ki Jaya.....!
Your servant, Devaki dd
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