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Lessons from my father's departure

11/11/2021

 
After spending one week in Cologne temple in Germany, I took a flight to Stockholm/Sweden on the 4th of November to visit our farm community in Almvik, the home of Sri Sri Pancha Tattva
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I had not been back to Almvik since their Scandinavian summer festival in 2016 - how wonderful to finally meet everyone again! It was astounding how the kids had grown up and become teenagers - with some of the boys turning into 2-meter tall giants, with shoe size 49! And the rest of us had become older, with our bodies gradually changing and dwindling....​
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I gave a couple of morning classes and was invited to give the class for Govardhana Puja and Srila Prabhupada's disappearance. They celebrated Govardhana Puja on Sunday with more than 100 people assembling for the joyous event, which is a great turn-out for Almvik. I also took the opportunity to go to the flower market in Stockholm to sponsor nice flowers, so I could make the vases - my favorite way of tuning my heart into a devotional mood for a Vaishnava festival. I especially felt the urge to highlight Srila Prabhupada for the commemoration of his disappearance day - a day which unfortunately is being neglected in many temples around the world. We managed to have a sweet program, with the class in the morning, and in the afternoon we came together to once again remember and glorify Srila Prabhupada. We watched an 8-minute film capturing his glories, and concluded with gurvastakam, puspanjali, gaur artik and damodarastakam.
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I was requested to offer two sessions on the topic of the false ego, our constant companion and troublemaker. I described the highly purifying journey of old age and disease, crushing our false ego into pieces and giving us an intense preparation for our final exam of leaving our body...

I had the good fortune to be with my father during his last week of life, when he departed in September 2008. I was able to keep him at his home and take care of him, thus avoiding hospitalisation.
For the past 20 years of his life, he had gone every year to India for six weeks, and also travelled twice with me to Bangladesh. So we had a rather close connection. Now, at the very end of his life, he was immensely grateful that I had cancelled all my travel plans and had come to take care of him. We spent a very sweet and intimate six days together until he left his body in full consciousness, in a very peaceful and focused way.

This experience has served as an unforgettable lesson for me, how to leave this world. It greatly reduced my fear of death and made me understand that it is actually not such a big deal. We have gone through it all so many times already! We just don’t remember…
My father managed to take shelter in my presence, and I tried my best to prepare him for what was ahead. At some point he voiced his fear that he would not be able to go to the bathroom alone. I confirmed that this moment would certainly come very soon, and he would witness how his body would gradually fall apart. Yet, this occurrence was not connected with him as a spirit soul.
He responded, “But that’s so embarrassing!”
And I explained, “Now you will understand that you are not this body.”
He replied, “I think I know this already.”
I further deliberated, and then said, “Now you will actually experience it! Your situation will only be embarrassing when you identify with your body. If you know you are not the body, then you will simply treat your body like a vehicle, which is falling apart. It will not be embarrassing.”
He gratefully accepted those explanations. When the moment came where he needed help in the bathroom, he looked at me with a deep sigh and surrendered to the situation, throwing overboard some aspects of the false identifications with his gross and subtle body. I could perceive what intense purification he was going through.

Old age and disease have many amazing lessons to teach us, which are all extremely humbling. Our false ego is being crushed to pieces, until we are ready to let go of it.

On the 11th of November I flew back to Cologne....

Your servant, Devaki dd

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