I was invited to give the main festival lecture on the evening of Radharani's appearance, sharing drops of nectar on Her Divine personality. The atmosphere during the entire evening was surcharged with bliss - a beautiful abhishek accompanied by sweet and prayerful kirtan captured our hearts....
principle between husband and wife. We have to learn this tactic from Her – She is expert at it. She doesn’t demand or complain – She does not dominate Krishna by telling Him what to do and what not to. She simply serves Him in
full self-sacrifice, conquering the heart of the supreme controller. No yogi has the power to do so – only Srimati Radharani has, along with pure devotees of the Lord.
She expresses in the CC, Antya 20.52: "I do not mind my personal distress. I only wish for the happiness of Krishna, for His happiness is the goal of my life.However, if He feels great happiness in giving me distress,that distress is the best of my happiness." This is love...!
Once a wife has learnt to tie her husband’s heart up with the ropes of her affection and devoted service, he will feel inspired to give her emotional attention and affectionately care for her in all respects – he will feel so obliged to her that he will simply want to please and satisfy her. This is explained in the verse and purport to 6.18.28:
"O King, Diti always carried out Kasyapa’s orders very faithfully, as he desired. With service, love, humility and control, with words spoken very sweetly to satisfy her husband, and with smiles and glances at him, Diti attracted his mind and brought it under her control."
Srila Prabhupada elaborates in his commentary:
"When a woman wants to endear herself to her husband and make him very faithful, she must try to please him in all respects. When the husband is pleased with his wife, the wife can receive all necessities, ornaments and full satisfaction for her senses."
These loving exchanges of the wife offering selfless service and the husband reciprocating by endeavouring to please her in return will bring a marital relationship closer to real love. After all, to love means to serve – selflessly. The more we can develop and let each other experience a mood of selfless service, the more we will invite romantic exchanges of love into our marital relationship.
Nowadays, we women don’t want to pay the price of conquering our husband’s heart through selfless service. We are not trained and educated in these subtle secrets of bringing the feminine shakti into play. On the contrary, we like to make demands by nagging, whining and complaining – something which is highly irritating to men and does not inspire them in the slightest to fulfill our desires and needs. In response, a man may rather suggest that she get a job and buy whatever she likes – to get her off his back…
We women have to learn the art of letting our husbands know what we desire, so that he will feel inspired to please us. One main reason why men in Kali-yuga are becoming more and more careless is because their partners in most cases are unwilling to take a humble position, and rather consider themselves equal to their partners. A man is inspired to give care and protection when his wife depends on him, thereby making him feel needed. Once he’s made to feel needed thus, he happily plays the role of being her hero to protect and care for her. But if she maintains an independent position, he may conclude that she can perfectly take care of herself, feeling that his caring attentions are no longer required; that he therefore has no role to play in the area of protective care-giving.
On 28th of September I flew to India...
Your servant, Devaki dd
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