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Haribol-relationships are not nourishing us

8/12/2025

 
After spending some days at the temple in Paris and conducting a few programs, I traveled out to New Mayapur/France - together with Janananda Maharaja in his car. As last year, I once again decided to visit New Mayapur for the festival of Lord Balarama's appearance. In any other temple in Europe, it would be a three-hour festival, but here in New Mayapur the devotees celebrate the event over three to four days...!
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New Mayapur is an historic early-20th-century castle; Srila Prabhupada installed beautiful, big marble Krishna-Balarama Deities here in 1975 - the first Krishna-Balarama Deities ever installed in the Western world.
Furthermore, Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai and Sri Sri Radha-Govinda-Madhava are mercifully accepting our loving service. Srila Prabhupada visited here twice, in 1975 and 1976, and his quarters are being maintained as a museum - a peaceful place to chant japa.
Out of the many activities performed everyday here is farming - something that Srila Prabhupada gave special importance to. New Mayapur has a vast property of forests and farmland - more than 200 acres. Devotees grow
around half a ton to a ton of grains - spelt, wheat or barley. They are also growing a variety of vegetables, fruits and flowers, and since the milk from Jersey cows is very rich, it is being transformed into yogurt, butter and ghee.
For this year's festival, we had the great honour to welcome HH Jayananda Maharaja, Mondakini Mataji, Agnideva Prabhu, Svarupa Damodara from Dubai and some young kirtaneers. Around 350 devotees came together, some also from the UK and other neighboring countries.
I reached New Maypaur on the day before Ekadashi which marks the beginning of the festivities. After more devotees had arrived, I was invited to offer 3 sessions on "Meeting Death With Joy" which were well attended and received.
Every evening the devotees assembled in the garden to swing Their Lordships Sri Sri Radha-Govinda-Madhava on a beautifully decorated swing, tuning their hearts into the upcoming appearance of Lord Balarama. The weather was beautiful, the atmosphere was festive and sweet, and the darshan of Their Lordships was a festival to our eyes and hearts - an ocean of flowers from the garden...! One devotee had arranged a big box of jasmine garlands to be flown in from India which were mainly used for the decoration of the altar, but also of Their Lordships. Their scent filled the entire temple room with their sweet aroma transporting us all to Goloka Vrindavan....
During the festival days I spent all day at the book table making myself available to the devotees. I had a blissful time connecting with devotees and distributed lots of copies of the six books I have published - the Vanaprastha book was especially popular...!
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The foremost contribution that members of the vanaprastha-ashrama offer to human society is teaching and guiding the younger generation. A Vaishnava who has passed through the two previous ashramas and has learned to endure many challenging situations in life by overcoming all sorts of trials and tribulations, must surely have a great wealth of life experience to share. He is a treasure-house of knowledge and wisdom, which empower him to serve as a well-wishing guide and mentor, reaching out to less experienced devotees so they can greatly benefit from his treasures of life experience.
If this loving exchange of accepting shelter from a more experienced Vaishnava, and offering shelter and guidance to a less experienced person does not take place in our spiritual practice, we may very well invite stagnation into our life and remain a kanistha. There is such a thing as selfishness even within the realm of spiritual practices: my sadhana, my service, my project, my schedule, my trip to India, my reading time – mine, mine, mine! Selfishness is still selfishness, even when manifested for Krishna conscious reasons. A natural sign of spiritual advancement is our willingness to reach out to others and sacrifice ourselves for the sake of uplifting them. If we truly value Krishna consciousness – how it has changed our entire life – then we would surely want to give it to others.
Furthermore, the Garuda Purana explains:
"One cannot be liberated without association with a pure devotee of the Lord. And unless one shows mercy to those in an inferior position, one’s life will be superficial."
Not just our life but also our relationships with others will be superficial. Material relationships are based on sense gratification. As devotees, we want to eliminate this foundation but unless we replace it with something higher, there will be a vacuum in our relationships. We need to replace sense gratification with the principles of giving and accepting shelter. Only then will our life and our relationships become deep and meaningful. Otherwise, we will simply surround ourselves with haribol-relationships, exchanging small talk and lots of haribols; talking about ourselves rather than inquiring from seniors and more experienced devotees. Such relationships are not spiritually nourishing. We can clearly see this taking place within our communities. As soon as we cultivate the mood of giving and accepting shelter, then our relationships become deep and meaningful. But if this is missing, then we have a rather impersonal
atmosphere, where devotees are simply busy with themselves and their services, running past each other day after day. And because of this, devotees may easily feel like hired hands – nobody is interested in their personal development as devotees but simply interested in how much service they can render. As a result, devotees may move on to another community.
Unless we come to the point in our spiritual development where we genuinely and selflessly desire to serve others by reaching out to uplift them, we will remain kanisthas, simply focusing on ourselves.

On the 12th of August I flew on to Helsinki/Finland...

Your servant, Devaki dd

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