Since Radhasthami fell on Monday, the 21st of September we had scheduled a Holy Name Retreat in Goloka Dham on the weekend leading up to this auspicious event. What better way to prepare for Srimati Radharani's appearance....! And Goloka Dham was the perfect place for such a retreat, since it is in such peaceful and secluded environment, and of course since Radha Madana Mohana are personally there.....!
A nice group of around 35 serious devotees assembled from various parts of Germany, and also from neighboring countries like Swizzerland and Croatia. Some had recently joined Krsna consciousness, and some had been practicing for around thirty years. Over three days all of us were endeavoring in introspection to deepen our relationship with the holy name, polishing up our chanting habits - hearing about important aspects of chanting, and applying them in japa and kirtan. The day of Mauna Vrata was a new experience for many of us and helped to deeply reflect and confront ourselves in internal work. The role plays showing how to chant and how not to chant - in japa aswell as in kirtan, were adding a good sense of humour while deepening the learning experience.
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Devotees shared wonderful realizations, stating that out of all retreats they had ever attended they found this one to be the most transformational. Srimati Radharani's mercy - She must have reciprocated with the devotees' sincere endeavor....
The holy name is surcharged with Srimati Radharani's potency. She is the personification of devotion - of self-sacrifice in service to Krsna. 'Hare' embodies Her energy, and by chanting in the mood of longing to serve we can connect with Her and Her energy. So to connectT with Radharani is not such a cheap thing - not simply by chanting Radhe Radhe Radhe.... No, Srila Prabhupada didn't like this Radhe Radhe Radhe chanting at all! The maha mantra includes all energies and potencies, and if we chant mindfully turning towards Krsna and longing to serve, then we tap into Radharani's mood and energy, and we can receive Her blessings. Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur explains that chanting without this longing to serve is useless. It is useless, because it will not establish us in our eternal position of servant. It will not free us from the tendencies to enjoy and control, and thus, in the ultimate sense it is useless.
On Radhastami we concluded the holy name retreat by lunch time, and in the afternoon we celebrated Radharani's appearance with Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohan's abhishek, accompanied by melodious kirtans. The brahmana-initiated matajis were also invited to come on the altar and offer this personal service. Not only the regular congregation of Goloka Dham had assembled, but quite a number of devotees had come from all corners of Germany. Here in Goloka Dham are the only Radha Krsna Deities within the German yatra, and Radhastami is of course so much sweeter when Radharani is personally there. I was invited to share a few drops of nectar about Radharani, and I elaborated on the mood of service in Goloka Vrindavan - how all the residents are fully absorbed in making pleasing arrangements for the Lord in a very organised and structured way, serving and assisting each other.
The main two ways of offering their love and devotion are preparing something most amazing out of eatables, and preparing something most amazing out of flowers and leaves. And the confidential servants of Radha Madana Mohan were already pretty expert in those two arts. So many wonderful and tasty preparations were offered to Their Lordships, and the altar looked simply wonderful with the flower-backdrop, all held in white, pink and read. The leaves and grass made it appear very natural and reminded of a forest setting.
Goloka Dham had become my great inspiration in creating Vrindavan forest on the altar, and by Krsna's mercy I had managed to bring this mood and meditation to Kharkov in Ukraine.....
On the 23rd of September I took a train to Cologne where we had scheduled a weekend seminar discussing "The False Ego - our Constant Companion and Troublemaker". It was well attended by a wonderful group of devotees coming mainly from the densely populated area around Cologne. Some devotees from far away corners within Germany, and even from Swizzerland and Netherlands had also shown their eagerness to attend, by accepting the inconvenience of traveling all the way to Cologne. As Rupa Goswami says, the main qualification we need in order to get Krishna is intense greed for Him. And this intense greed manifests for example, that we are ready to accept any inconvenience in order to have inspiring association. In this way our travels can be understood as pilgrimage and are indeed part of the purifying process.
Each time I am conducting this seminar on the topic of the false ego, I am becoming more and more aware of the subtleties of this most subtle element of our subtle body, and it greatly helps me to detect how it so often gets in my way and tends to create so many disturbances. Working on one's false ego and trying to subdue and ultimately dissolve it is indeed hard internal work. It requires ongoing deep introspection and self-relflection, otherwise we have no chance to discover its workings. Since the false ego is so near and dear to us, we tend to defend and protect it by all means. And not only that - we take every opportunity to feed it and blow it up. Sometimes we like to massage each other's false ego, giving some flattering lip service to each other, utimately to receive some recognition and glory for ourselves. All these things go on in a very subtle way and can easily pass as devotional practice. Infact, one can easily miss the ultimate target of Krsna consciousness entirely, by increasing one's false ego rather than subduing it. We can imagine a large throne within our heart, which is actually meant for Ksna to take His seat there. But at this moment our big false ego has occupied it, and thus we cannot offer this asana to Krsna. The process of Krsna consciousness is meant to push this well fed false ego off the throne, so that Krsna can take His seat there. This is not an easy task and requires deep, sincere and constant endeavor, with great determination. I hope one day I will make it.......
We concluded the seminar with the Sunday feast program, which we included as the final seminar session. I discovered such weekend seminars to be just the perfect dosis of quality time spent with devotees in order to churn topics on deeper levels and thus "boil the milk", as Prabhupada had called it. Devotees had arrived Friday evening, were spending the entire Saturday and Sunday morning in the seminar, and after the Sunday feast program everybody returned to their homes - freshly recharged and with new insights into the practice of devotional service. For many even just being for a couple of nights in the temple and thus having the opportunity to attend the morning program was a real boost to their spiritual life.....
On the 28th of September I flew off to Stockholm/Sweden....
Your servant, Devaki dd
Each time I am conducting this seminar on the topic of the false ego, I am becoming more and more aware of the subtleties of this most subtle element of our subtle body, and it greatly helps me to detect how it so often gets in my way and tends to create so many disturbances. Working on one's false ego and trying to subdue and ultimately dissolve it is indeed hard internal work. It requires ongoing deep introspection and self-relflection, otherwise we have no chance to discover its workings. Since the false ego is so near and dear to us, we tend to defend and protect it by all means. And not only that - we take every opportunity to feed it and blow it up. Sometimes we like to massage each other's false ego, giving some flattering lip service to each other, utimately to receive some recognition and glory for ourselves. All these things go on in a very subtle way and can easily pass as devotional practice. Infact, one can easily miss the ultimate target of Krsna consciousness entirely, by increasing one's false ego rather than subduing it. We can imagine a large throne within our heart, which is actually meant for Ksna to take His seat there. But at this moment our big false ego has occupied it, and thus we cannot offer this asana to Krsna. The process of Krsna consciousness is meant to push this well fed false ego off the throne, so that Krsna can take His seat there. This is not an easy task and requires deep, sincere and constant endeavor, with great determination. I hope one day I will make it.......
We concluded the seminar with the Sunday feast program, which we included as the final seminar session. I discovered such weekend seminars to be just the perfect dosis of quality time spent with devotees in order to churn topics on deeper levels and thus "boil the milk", as Prabhupada had called it. Devotees had arrived Friday evening, were spending the entire Saturday and Sunday morning in the seminar, and after the Sunday feast program everybody returned to their homes - freshly recharged and with new insights into the practice of devotional service. For many even just being for a couple of nights in the temple and thus having the opportunity to attend the morning program was a real boost to their spiritual life.....
On the 28th of September I flew off to Stockholm/Sweden....
Your servant, Devaki dd
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