Back to India - to take Chemo

On my return to Cologne on the 26th of April I started to make preparations to fly back to India to take the Chemo. And I finally got myself to cancel nine flights which I had booked for the next two months to visit various yatras in the world - something which I had put off, just in case some miracle would happen......! But now my mind was set on going back to India.

I had contacted Rowan, the Oncologist who had treated me ten years ago in Melbourne. I had sent him my histopathology reports and asked him for his treatment suggestion and advice. When I was his patient ten years ago I was coming to every appointment with a big bag of delicious maha prasadam from beautiful Sri Sri Radha Vallabha, and we were even reading Bhagavad Gita verses during our appointments. At the end of my treatment we had dinner together at our Gopal's Restaurant in Melbourne, and he was sharing how he used to go to the Food-For-Life Govinda's Restaurant during his student years to have a nice and inexpensive meal. So he had already been purified by lots of prasadam! Now, when I was contacting him again after ten years, he of course fondly remembered me and immediately answered my message, even though he is an extremely busy man, caring for his patients from early morning to late night.
Rowan is probably one of the best Oncologists in Melbourne, if not to say Australia. He is a very thoughtful, experienced and wise man, carefully weighing up the toxic effect with the medical benefit. He does not simply go according to the books and statistics, but has the experience and courage to prescribe more unconventional treatment plans - according to time, place and circumstance and the individual needs of the patient, always trying to keep the toxic effect to a bare minimum.
Rowan gave me a straight forward prognosis, saying: "Your risk of recurrence and death from cancer over the next 5 years is probably in the order of 15% to 20%. A Chemotherapy could reduce this risk by about 1/3, so that the odds can be improved to 10% to 14%. I would recommend this for you on the basis of these results but that is about all the benefit that chemotherapy would provide." In fact, this is the main benefit that Chemo gives - when it is taken in my situation, where the cancer cells have not formed any further tumors yet. Then it is useful to take it. Once there are further tumors it can only maybe reduce its size, but the disease will spread and ultimately lead to death. Of course, for any person around 60 years of age, the chance of meeting death within the next five years is probably around 15% anyway - with or without cancer, with or without Chemo.....

Rowan advised me to take a milder version of four cycles of Chemo, whereas other Oncologists had advised me six or even eight cycles. He went through all the trouble of commenting by email in a very detailed way why he wouldn't recommend neither the Toronto treatment plan nor the suggestion I had received in Mumbai. He found them too aggressive for my situation - not justified to accept such high toxic effects. I very much liked his approach and set my mind on the idea that I could take his treatment plan in Bangalore.

Once again I did not allow myself to get entirely swallowed up by the topic of cancer treatments, and I gave a few classes in the Cologne yatra - a CC class on Sunday morning, and a house program at Dhara Mataji and Mangalananda Prabhu's home, which was well attended and had a very nice atmosphere. I always admire Dhara Mataji - how she masters her situation in life, having a very sick and handicapped husband. He used to be one of the top book distributers in Germany, but now is not able to do this service any longer and needs constant care and supervision. She maintains her family by giving cooking courses and yoga classes, and she regularly arranges for preaching programs in her home. And needless to say, the prasadam is always first class! Many of the people who attend the program come from her cooking courses and yoga classes. A wonderful preaching spirit - despite so many odds.....
HH Bhakti Bhusana Maharaja was also in Cologne, and I attended his classes and associated with the devotees. During the Sunday Feast program our dear Bhakta Reinhold received initiation and became Rupa Vilasa Das, which was a joyful event for the whole community. I also had some personal exchanges with Maharaja, exchanging some realizations on the topic of disease and cancer.

I had decided to visit my old mother for three days before returning to India - I had not seen her for more than six months. Bhaktin Irina from the Cologne congregation kindly agreed to accompany me in order to help me with cooking and other domestic tasks, so it would not be so stressful for me, and I could spend a little bit more time with my mother. We took the train together from Cologne to Tuebingen - along the Rhine Valley, with all its beautiful mountains, cliffs and castles. Once again I had to discover what a beautiful country Germany is indeed - at least on the surface, externally. However, once we scratch a little on the glossy surface, we discover that the system is rotten underneath.

---

We had a nice and harmonious time together at my mother's place. Whenever I come with another person, she always shows herself from her very best side, and is excited and happy to play the welcoming host. And Irina speaks German, so my mother could also engage in exchanges and discussions with her, which gave me a little bit of time to myself. My mother is 87 years old now, and so open minded and interested in spiritual topics. One of her main problems is, that she finds it hard to find people in her age group who she can have meaningful exchanges and uplifting, thought provoking talks with.

One sunny afternoon we took her for a drive in her chariot (wheel chair) around the village, and at the same time I showed Irina the beautiful old farm houses with their little front yards and barn, and the baking house in the middle of the village, where all the ladies used to come to bake their bread in a wood fired oven. Almost like a Vedic village! Of course, today things have changed, and only one single family still has cows. All the other families have given up this life style, since the young generation rather wants to have a job in the city. And of course, a beautiful church was the center of the village. Interesting enough, the big house next to the church used to be an ashram for unmarried ladies....!

I managed to convince my mother that she has to follow a diet in order to regulate her digestive problems. She had been complaining about diarrhea and stomach pains - no wonder, since she did not follow any diet whatsoever, but simply ate whatever the mind and senses where demanding. Even the doctors she consulted did not mention a word about the need to follow a diet, but simply gave her all kinds of medicines, and suggested all kinds of investigations.
I explained to her the spiritual view on things - how Krsna is forcing us in old age to give up the spirit of enjoying the tongue. She quietly listened without commenting. But she understood the point. Some time later she made some cheeky remarks in regards to myself about the need to control the urges of the tongue....

One afternoon she arranged a little "preaching program" for me by inviting the chairman of the German-Indian Society of Tuebingen to her place. Her idea was that I could maybe give a lecture there some time in the future, which I thought was very nice and thoughtful of her. She said: "You give lectures in so many countries all over the world - why not here in Tuebingen?!" The chairman of this society is a young lady of 34 years of age, and is indeed very nice and open to Krsna consciousness. We spent a nice time together in discussions, over some little prasadam snack.

I felt very satisfied and happy that we had such a sweet time with her - who knows: every meeting with her could very well be the last one.....

On the 7th of May I flew of to Mumbai and on to Bangalore.....

Your servant, Devaki dd